Apr 23, 2014

A Model's Pose

Crossing the Line

There are Friends with Benefits but what happens with the benefit program ends? Does the friendship have to? I don't necessarily think that's so but clear communication is definitely key here.

I had been seeing a woman on occasion for a few years. We had had quite a few memorable experiences and explored some areas that were new to me (and, perhaps, to her). Things cooled down after a while and came to a complete stop when she moved to Memphis, TN.

As luck would have it, the company I was working for had an office in Memphis and had cause to send me there for a meeting. I sent my friend a message and told her that I was going to be in her neck of the woods if she'd like to get together for dinner.

Sure, no problem.

Rather than spending the evening in high suspense and awkwardness I decided to be very up front with her. Before we met I messaged her to let her know, "Hey, I don't know what your feelings are on this but if you want to have sex that evening we meet for dinner, that's fine. If not, that's fine, too. I'm just excited to see you again, no matter what the occasion -- dinner or something more."

You'd have thought I called her a whore from the reaction I got.

Suddenly, I felt like the biggest pig in the world. How dare I try to debase her with such insinuations!

Not only did we not get together for dinner but she effectively severed our friendship completely right there. To say that I was bummed out is an understatement. Not only had a lost someone who I had enjoyed many "booty calls" but the friendship disappeared as well and I valued the friendship even more than the sex.

I thought I was doing the adult thing but I guess the truly adult thing is to just ignore things and hope they go away.