Dec 15, 2006

Sally Subspace

I've talked a bit about my first Domme but not about (m)any others. After Her, it took me a long time before i found someone to play with. Sure, there were a few "one offs" -- that's how I finally broke my bi cherry. But it took a while before I found anyone to see on a semi-regular basis after that.

After Sybarta moved away I met and played with a few random men and women. This was a period in my life for experimentation where I was taking charge of myself. I had gotten to a point where I was overweight and wanted to control my eating. I was in a bad marriage and wanted to control my fate there. I was in a bad job and switched careers. Expressing all of this control over everything else, I decided to exert some control over another person.

Via Yahoo Personals, I met Sally; a switch swinger with an open marriage and a two year old son. The idea that she and her husband both had their own "fun friends" that they played with kind of threw me off for a bit but I learned to live with it. We chatted online for a while before finally meeting for coffee at a Barnes & Nobles. She struck me as a very sensual and giving person. I was a nervous wreck. I had no idea how to be Dominant but I wanted to be and, moreover, I wanted to be for her.

How strange it is to move to the other end of the whip. I had never called a woman a bad name but she melted with each "bitch", "slut", or "whore" I uttered. I had never spanked anyone but she groaned louder with every ass-reddening slap I gave her. Let me just say that the first spanking was the toughest. I just couldn't believe that she was enjoying the pain I gave her until I slid a finger into her and found her a wet, sloppy mess. I almost made her orgasm through the pain. That was so foreign to me as I had never found pleasure through pain.

What amazes me, when I look back, is that our entire relationship lasted a total of four months. It was very intense and it felt like we spent a lot of time together though this probably wasn't the case. We had our first "session" a few days after Xmas and didn't have more than a few hours to play together until the middle of January. By April it was over. By that time, my divorce was underway and Sally flipped out; thinking that she'd leave her husband and we'd run off together like a couple of love birds. Woah, woah, not so fast, lady.

Sally definitely helped me push my limits -- both in what I could give and, later, in what I could take. I wasn't always Dom to her. As we progressed, we would take turns and she would be the Domme. This is when I learned that I could take a lot of pain and pass through that barrier where it became pleasure. That was when I got my birthday spankings when I turned 27. It was wonderful. I took the 27 spankings and was asked if I could take another 27. I did, heistantly. After that, I was asked if I could take another 27. I did, willingly. After that, I asked if I could please have another 27...

This was also the day that I learned how bad Sally was at "after care". She took me to this "higher place" and had no clue what to do with me in its wake. Between that and the realization that she had a very masculine attutide towards fairness in a relationship ("I don't care about you, I've cum, so I'm done."), I was pretty well through with her before she had her delusions of romance.

I'm very thankful to Sally for showing me that I had the ability to cause pain and humiliation. She also helped me to greatly increase my appreciation for those I had served before and since.

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